


The Call

by Zizishipsgallavich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:17:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3574451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zizishipsgallavich/pseuds/Zizishipsgallavich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’ll come back,when you call me,no need to say goodbye.<br/>This fic is inspired by a song named “The Call”,Ian always thought he would be the one to leave the world first…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You are not My Protector

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a huge gallavich fan and I love reading gallavich fan fics too, but I've never tried to write fan fics in English by myself.Hope this fic is a nice try.I'm also interested in English although I'm not good at it.So I'm looking forward to your precious advice about this fic or about my English learning.I'll be very grateful if you'd like to take time reading my fic and let me know how to improve it .Thank you all and love you !

Five years have passed,everything has been on track.I found myself a decent job,Mandy dumped Keynatta and came back from Indiana with her daughter named Melanie.I bet you can’t imagine what happended to Iggy,he became a boxer and has won three medals in competitions.Fiona is having Gus’s baby,she expects to be confined next month.Lip graduated from college and became a pilot engineer.Debbie and Carl are growing up.Liam has made a bunch of friends in the primary school.Sammi and Chuckie moved out of this block.Frank is still a drunker.Kev and V are still deeply in love and Svetlana offered to be their children’s nanny.Gemma and Amy adore Yevgeny very much.Everything seems perfect.Except one thing,you are absent.  
I went to see you yesterday.It was rainy,but I didn’t even take my umbrella,cause I don’t need that shit.I knelt down,put my fingers on the edge of the gravestone,I heard myself whispered,”Hey, how is it going?”  
I stared at the gravestone,expecting to hear a response,expecting to hear something,anything,any word.But the only sound bumped into my ear is the raindrops hitting the ground.  
"I miss you......"I murmured.Still,no response.  
"But you don't miss me,I know that,I know......"I smiled bitterly to myself,you ended your own life,ended up everything with me,you left for good with desperation.I know I have hurt you,I know I don't deserve your forgiveness.  
I swept the rainwater off the stone,the letters on it gradually came into view,I heard the letters came out of my mouth,"Mickey Milkovich--the protector of our brother."Oh yes,almost forgot,Fiona and Lip arranged the whole funeral,the words must be Fiona's stupid idea.  
"It's bullshit."I shook my head.You were not my protector,cause I should have been the one to protect you,but I didn't.  
I didn't protect you.You got shot because of me twice,you were beaten the shit out of you and were forced to fuck with Svetlana because of me,you were forced to marry her after that because of me,you came out for me,your son was put in danger because of me,your life was ruined because of me,your heart broke because of me,you chose to end your life because of me.You did everything for me,you gave me everything,you suffered everything because of me,but I didn't protect you.  
The gravestone became vague,and memories grew stronger,time flashed back to several years ago.  
I finally admitted that something was wrong with me and agreed to take on meds.But the meds did not go well on me in the first few days,I knew my body need time to get used to that,but I just lost my patience,fury started to override me.Fuck it,fuck the bipolar shit,get better in 30 or 40 years?What’s the difference between this shit and a death penalty then?My life was totally ruined,thanks to the disorder,thanks to the fucking meds,since everything was already fucked up,why not make it worse by myself?I smashed all the dishes in the kitchen,I buried my ROTC uniforms,I threw the pizza made by Debbie into a dumpster,and what’s more,I treated you like shit.  
I shouted at you,I hit you,but you never fought back,you just endured all the madness I threw at you.Two months later,I kicked you out of the house,I broke up with you.You cried,you asked me why,but I did not say a single word,I just walked away.I blocked your telephone number and your e-mail account,what about twitter and facebook?Well,you didn’t have one.But you still came back to me.I did not allow my siblings to open the damn door for you,so you climbed in through the window.  
“What the fuck are you doing here,get out of my house.”I said in a cold voice.  
“Just……just came by to see if anything is ok……”You said.  
“None of your fucking business,now get your ass out.”I opened the window,pointed at the darkness outside,”OUT!!!”I shouted.  
“Ian……Ian please,fuck,I can’t …I can’t handle this…just…just don’t push me away from you,jesus,these days,it’s …it’s like getting drowned in the water…like…getting burned in the fire….I…If I have to live a life without you…I’m gonna fucking die…”Your eyes moistened as he spoke out these words.  
“Then fucking die and I don’t give a shit wether you are die or alive at all!”I shouted,I pushed you out of the door.  
I tried to close the door,but you gripped the door tightly,and asked me,”Are you serious,you asked me to die?Did you mean that?”  
I said with a sneer”What,you don’t dare to ?I already said that I don’t give a shit at all,so if you want to commit suicide,what are you hesitating for,huh?Just fucking end your life,I swear I won’t drop any tear for you ,I won’t even feel sorry for you.You are a pussy,you are nothing but rubbish to me!”I had lost my entire mind at that time.I was nothing but a hysterical maniac at that moment.  
You wiped your eyes,nodded slightly.”I see……I……I want you to know……that I’m willing to do anything for you……I mean……anything……goodbye Ian Gallagher.”You raised your hands,I’m not sure if you intended to touch my forehead one more time ,but you put down your hands at last.  
You vanished from my sight,I slammed the door.Half a minute later,a tremendous sound of car crash almost deafened me.My brain blanked,then I heard Fiona、Debbie and Liam were screaming.  
I ran out of the house.I saw Lip’s car stopped outside,with blood on the front window,I saw Lip trembling besides the car,”He …he rushed to me straightly……I……I……fuck!!!”Then he saw me,he stared at me,tried to say something,but seemed had lost his voice.  
I turned around,I saw you,I saw you lying on the ground,covered by blood.I felt my knees was losing power,I fell down,I tried to stand up,but I couldn’t,so I climbed to you.Your were face down,so I rolled your body over,your body was still warm,but I known you were gone.  
I held you in my arms,I tried to wipe the blood off your face,I called you”Mick”again and again,but you kept ignoring me,your eyes closed,your mouth shut,I knew I had lost you.I put my fingers into your hair and touched them softly,I could feel the pain of my heart being torn apart,but I did not cry.  
“I swear I won’t drop any tear for you.”This is what I said to you before the tragedy.It became a curse.I lost my tear since then,just like I lost you.Up to now,I have lost the capacity to cry for five years.

 

“I miss you,Mick,if only I could hear your voice again,if only you could hear my voice again.”I said,touching the letters of your name on the gravestone.  
It suddenly thundered violently.I even felt the ground shaking,but that was just my illusion,at least I guessed so.The sky became darker,so I bent down,kissed your name on the cold stone,and left.  
Now I’m lying in my bed,thinking about yesterday,thinking about the days before you gone.My cellphone rang,interrupting my recollection.I sit up to reach my phone,there’s no number on the screen.  
My body is suddenly surrounded by a huge feeling of terror.I don’t want to answer it ,but it keeps ringing.I power it off,take off the battery.  
I lie down again,bury my head into the pillow,try to remove your face out of my mind for one second.


	2. I still have so many words to tell you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you are listening,even if I can hear nothing.

When I finally got my body off the bed,I had been sleeping as dead for a whole day,according to Fiona.

“Whoa,Ian,you look like crap.”Fiona said,there was a baby inside her belly,who was obviously anxious to coming out.

I shrugged as a reply.

“You almost scared the shit out of me,asshole,I called you for almost a thousand times but your phone has been out of order for the whole fucking day.”Fiona said with a worried look.

“I’m fine,Fi,I just felt tired so I got some rest,that’s all,you don’t have to come to see me in person,I can take care of myself all alone,the doctor said that,remember?Bipolar is out of my way now,I really have nothing to worry about me.”

“All right,all right,so promise me you’ll always be ok,please?Oh,hey I bet you haven’t eaten anything today,right?So do you prefer sandvich or salad……”Fiona kept talking about what I wanted she to cook for me,but I wasn’t listening anymore.

I picked up my phone,went to the bathroom,closed the door,and put the battery back in the phone.The following shit that happened really scared the crap out of me.It rang again,still no number.

Normal phones will ring for thirteen or fourteen times and if no one pick up,they will stop ringing,that’s the basic conscience,right?But my phone was totally crazy,how could it kept ringing for two hundred times and still no signs of stopping?

“Ian,what takes you so long?The food is ready!”Fiona’s voice came from the kitchen.

“Well,a moment,poop takes time,you know.”

“Wait,is that your phone?”

“Nah,it’s my PSP,I’m playing some stupid video game…”

“Don’t stay too long in there!”

“All right——“

I stared at my phone,still ringing ,still flickering without a single number on the screen.All right,my lord,this is not funny.

What would happen if I pick it up?

“Ian,still in there?”Fiona was losing her patience,so I pulled out the battery for the second time and put my phone and the battery into my pocket before I went out.

Fiona didn’t stay long at my place after I finished the pie she made for me,the house was empty again,I picked out my phone from the pocket.The battery was put in its due position again,and as expected,it began to ring.

Who on earth would call me so persistently?My friends?I’m not sure if I have any,Mandy might be my only friend but she would never call me in such a creepy way.My colleagues?Of course not,won’t make sense.Lip?Carl?Debbie?Liam?Come on!

The only person who had a reason to do that was no longer existed on this planet anymore.God,enough!No more images in which he lay on the floor all bloody flowing into my brain please!

Could that be him on the phone?

I found myself trembling when I was hit by this speculation.I must be crazy,but there was a voice whispering deep in my heart,it was him,it was him on the phone,it was him waiting for me to pick up……Or to put it more specifically,I wish it was him,although there was no fucking way to be so.

Wait,what did I do yesterday?What did I say?I didn’t really remember,but I did remember one sentence that I said,” If only I could hear your voice again,if only you could hear my voice again.”Could that explain this weird thing?Was there any connection between these stuff?Probably not,but I somehow was convinced by this ridiculous imagination.

I slided my finger on the screen,and put the phone next to my ear.

 

"Mickey?Is that you?"My hand was shaking so heavily that I nearly let the phone slip from my hand.

 

The only thing on the other side of the phone was silence.

But from the moment I pick up the phone,I had known for sure who was it on the phone.I just felt like I had known he would make that making-no-sense phone call as soon as I was born,I just never had realized that until that moment.

"I know you are listening,even if I can hear nothing."I said.

"It's bizzare,right?I mean,the phone call.Actually I was freaked out at first,but when I realized it was you on the other side of the phone,you know what?It's kinda sweet."I kept on talking to the air.

"It's great,actually,it's too great.Can you imaging?I am having a conversation with you,even though I am the only one who is really talking.When was the last time we had a real conversation?Well,can't remember......It's been a long time,isn't it?After the fucking diagnosis,have I really talked to you?I don't think so.The only thing I threw at you was endless yelling,and you just swallowed them all..."

"But now I'm talking to you......I mean talk talk,not yelling or cursing......"

My words stuck at my throat......being reminded of those bad memories was painful.

I finally got the guts to go on talking,"Mickey,I want you to know that I'm......I'm......"

"Du——Du——"It seemed that my phone ended this call.I just intended to tell him how sorry I was.

A new record showed up in the list of my call logs.It showed that the call lasted for 5 minutes.

"Would you mind calling me again tomorrow?"I murmured to the phone,didn't really expect any response,maybe Mickey did not want to accept my apology,so he hang up the phone."I still have something to tell you......please?"

But I saw the phone flickered twice,each flickering lasted less than 0.01second.I even doubt that it was my illusion.

But I still hope my phone would ring at some time tomorrow.

I still had so many words to say to him,so many real thought that I had had no chance to let him know before I lost him.

"Maybe we can catch up some old days tomorrow,what do you think?"I was even smiling when I said this.


End file.
